A D V I C E

To Young Gentlemen ;

OR, An Anƒwer to the LADIES of LONDON.

To the Tune of, The Ladies of London. This may be Printed, R. P.

Ll Jolly Blades that Inhabit the Town,
And with the fair Sex are contriving,
From the Gay Fop, to the hone¥ b°ed Clown,
    be advis'd to reƒolve again¥ Wiving ;
Let not a p°oƒpect of Pleaƒure delude,
    where ƒo many Plagues are attending,
Fo° 'tis the Nature of Wives to Obtrude,
    and Miƒeries heap without ending.

Fir¥, have a care of the Lady p°eciƒe,
    who exclaims again¥ Drinking and Roaring,
That p°ivately turns up the White of her Eyes
    and in publick abominates Who°ing
But if you Coach her a mile out of Town
    and quote her but Solomon's Vices ;
With a ƒlight trip you may tumble her down,
    though ƒeeming ƒhe mode¥ly nice is.

Let no City-Girl your freedom beguile,
    ƒhee'l cheat you with mode¥ behaviour,
Who ƒits like a Rabbit tru¥ up fo° to boil,
    and ƒwears ƒhe's a Maid by her Saviour :
But if you cunningly manage your Plot,
    you'l quickly be admitted under ;
Her coy behaviour will ƒoon be fo°got,
    ƒhee'l b°eath out her Soul in a ƒlumber.

The Widdow avoid where Pollicy lurks
    p°etending to act by her Conƒcience
That's black as the Devil and large as a Turk's
    ƒhee'l teaƒe you to Death with her Nonƒenƒe :
But if you love her and long fo° a Bout,
    you ne'r mu¥ ¥and mincing the matter,
B°uƒh her with Jollitry b°iƒkly about,
    and down with your B°itches and at her.

Let not the Country wench that is coy,
    inƒinuate into your favour
Fo° when ƒhe knows what it is to enjoy
    ƒhe quickly will change her behaviour :
Turn an inƒatiate Miƒs of the Town,
    to purchaƒe Gallants ƒhee'l endeavour ;
Pawn from her Carcaƒe her Paragon Gown
    to maintain the curteous Pleaƒure.

But if your Vigo° a Wife doth require
   and will not admit of fo°bearing ;
Any may ƒerve fo° to quench your deƒire,
   the's no Barrel the better Herring.
When you have ty'd the true Lovers Knot
   'tis one of the Curƒes depending
To Father a b°ood you never half got,
   without any further contending.

When the Wifes b°ought a Bed, lea¥ the Cucko grow in,
   the Midwife ƒhe makes an Oration,
And cryes the poo° Infant is ƒo like the Dad
   'tis wo°thy of your Obƒervation ;
Whil¥ the good Woman is pleaƒed in her heart
   to hear them ƒo Err in their chatting,
Knowing her Huƒband and ƒhe was a-part
    when Bully, the Boy was a getting.

Now how to avoid ƒo heavy a Curƒe,
   I do like a B°other adviƒe ye,
Never to take her fo° better fo° wo°ƒe,
   if you do, by my troth you'r a Niƒey,
Fo° you without may get her conƒent
   and ne'r make half that Puther
Then when ƒhe's falƒe, o° her Po°tion is ƒpent
   you may change and make choice of another.

L O N D O N.

Printed for J. Back, at the Black Boy near
Draw-Bridge on London-Bridge.

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Textual Notes

The ballad "Advice to Young Gentlemen" was printed in London between 1685 and 1688.
It responds to Thomas D'Urfey's anonymously issued "Advice to the Ladies of London" by the same printer [1687?]. The original is at Oxford's Bodleian Library; a reproduction is available on microfilm in Early English Books, 1641-1700, 339: 27 and Women Advising Women 5. 3: 3. Indexed as Wing A666 and ESTC R56. For the layout, see the facsimile, recto and verso.

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